would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
