Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
