I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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