Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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