Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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