Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
