Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
