dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize