my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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