I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
