apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
