I heard we made out
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
