Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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