I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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