Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
