It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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