yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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