I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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