So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
