I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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