I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
pray to the hookup gods
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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