Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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