Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My nipple is on Facebook.
wanna go halves on a baby?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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