I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When did angry sex become our thing?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
