So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
