and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
