fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
