Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
