You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
