he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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