i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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