Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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