Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
