So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
