I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
