Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
