The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
