have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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