i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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