My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you didnt know i had herpes?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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