Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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