They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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