Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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