Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
