the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
