Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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