bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
