when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
