STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it because I queefed?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
