i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
