1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
