can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
