i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
