A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
