NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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