if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
