why didn't you poke me back
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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