So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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