Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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