I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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