Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
