if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
