Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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