You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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