Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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