remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
